I have been pulling back from society for awhile. It doesn't bother me. I enjoy the quite. I'd run far away north if it wasn't for Christine and the kids. Its true the pull of solitude is strong. But the love for my family is stronger. I spent alot of time alone when i was a teenager. I liked to sit in the bush. Sometimes I would lie in a field and watch the clouds float by. My goal in being alone is a clear mind. To be without thought. My mom used to have relaxation tapes. I used to steal them and listen to them before falling asleep. You know the ones that have you relax your whole body focusing on the breathing. That kinda thing. Goodnight.

Sept. 9, 2007. Wow its been a year and a half. It feels like its time to pick this up again. I have a lot on my mind and no friends to talk to. I'm not whining about my friend situation. I'm rather comfortable with who is in my life. Seldom does anyone new come along who brings anything to my life. Is that arrogant? Friendship demands time and I have very little to spare. Plus the drama and craziness that they bring. I have enough Jerry Spinger moments in my life. Tomorrow morning I'm putting a ad in the paper for my new landscaping business. I have yet to name it. I had a name but decided against it. I was thinking something like Down the lane Landscaping. Its going to be an adventure thats for sure. I don't fear this economy. I am confident that I know what the customer wants and needs. The position my life is in right now means I cant fail. Everything and everyone is depending on me. My own life and future depend on it. Am I up for it. I sure as hell hope so.